今時今日, 任何人跟我說起拍拖, 也無法令我再有什麼憧憬。
拍拖,是為了什麼？結婚,生仔,抑或兩個人live happily thereafter？若是拍拖卻不知道(什麼時候)能結婚, 那還要拍嗎？承上, 若是拍拖又不知道什麼時候能結婚, 但又沒有婚前的那種行為, 那你們還想拍嗎？若是拍拖, 我天天祈禱而你們卻是望著一個不會為男人放棄 神的我, 星期六和日及十分之一的人工都供獻到 神那邊, 那還會想拍嗎？
也許, 我不會再是你們會喜歡的那種女人。有人讀過我以前寫下的文字, 說︰「想像不到妳是一個基督徒。」又有人說︰「覺得妳是那種很具挑戰性的女人, 好好玩。」若是想跟我flirt的話, 已經不再是合適的時候, 神就是會讓人內心那種罪性一點一點的消除,看見別人扭作一團親熱,我也沒有感覺。即使是一個我有一點點喜歡的男人向我示愛, 我也不想太親密的接觸, 只是想很單純的跟男人相處。那單純的感覺,竟然讓我想起十多年前的初戀, 第一次四目交投/男生拖著我的手(而不是見幾次面有feel就要打車輪+開波的那種), 只是微微的靠近那個人, 頭輕輕的伏在他的肩膀, 一雙溫暖的手掌帶來的幸福感覺,很久沒有這樣單純的感覺了。
這樣單純的感覺, 對於性衝動的男人, 算是什麼？只是一種淡而無味的頭盤罷了。回到 主的懷抱, 令人不想再走進那些兒戲的所謂愛情, 若只是單純的相處, 那為何還是要急呢？不是說見到我便感到快樂的嗎？更何況, 還有遲一下開學, 我就根本不會有時間拍拖…
我不能說自己如何的聖潔, 只是 神的確在我身上作工, 讓我不會被色慾所毒害, 電腦之內都是白開水一般的檔案, 即使是別人靠近, 我也會在下意識中為自己設立底線, 若是男人因為想把我拉出 神之外, 想搞也應該去搞別的女生, 沒有男友對於我不是一件慘事, 不需要提醒我年紀不小了, 我想...要是急的話,也不是別人來擔心的事情。我只是想要一種單純的愛, 還是有點期待若能跟自己愛的男人結婚, 那個洞房花燭夜才有意思吧！
別把時間花在我身上了, 外面還是有很多女生等著你們的,像是Marketing那樣,去fulfill customers' unsatisfied needs and wants比起initiate/identify customers' unknown needs and opportunities來得簡單容易,煩惱自尋又何必呢？
3 comments:
My friend,
Wot you say here appears that the almight God prevents you from having a partner. If you do think so you may consider to be a nun then.
But I'd say it's simply because not one of the boys surrounding is the Mr Right. There's nothing to do with the God. Don't try to tie Him to the fact that Mr Right has not appeared yet. Though He doesn't mind. Good Luck.
God is not preventing me from finding Mr Right, just asking me to be patient and wait for what he has planned for me.
I wont be a nun unless it is God's will.
I am still happy for u finding the rite gal u love. Just wanna be as lucky as others, when the ONE appears in front of me and God will make a way.
However, men around me dun really love me but simply like to flirt with me. That's not what i really want, and i choose to be single EVEN i m not young anymore.
Thanks for ur comment, my friend.
My Friend,
Okie, perhaps i have a bit mis-understanding of what you wrote. But it did sound to me that you are using God to be an excuse of something, if not everything. Of course, I'm pretty sure that I'm wrong as you are not such kind of girl as far as I know. Right?
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