我是個直腸直肚的人。
多年來也沒改變, 但其實我很不喜歡自己向人發晦氣的模樣。便是因為那樣子太小器, 總覺得不成熟的人才會跟人家計較的。我想自己可以成熟點, 待人處事圓滑點, 朋友卻說︰「圓滑即係假！」(！) 不過, 朋友們又希望別人向自己發脾氣嗎？沒有人會喜歡受人家的氣, 人人平等, 為什麼我卻要受你的氣？自己受不了但卻向人發晦氣, 那不是體諒別人的女生, 但一時間又按捺不住心裡面陣陣的失落感覺…唉！不知所謂…
想到這裡便想正式「閉關」！我很怕被拒絕, 便是因為面皮薄才會感到無地自容？ 別人沒空陪我也不是錯呀, 為什麼我卻要「苦苦相逼」？我開始討厭自己常常去找人去陪我攝影, 更討厭自己常常想找人陪我到電影院看電影, 這樣太不夠獨立了…
一個人生活是否真的那麼難？為什麼別人能夠做到的(而且還說很享受一個人的時間！), 我卻不可以？害怕孤獨的力量很大, 大得可以叫我忘卻害怕被拒絕的感覺。可是, 自尊心極重如我那樣的女生, 竟然這樣發晦氣, 那麼你會怎麼想我？
6 comments:
girl,
do you know that i go to theatre by myself now? even though i still believe that it should be a thing to be done with company. but i understand sometimes you cannot force others particulaly when the play/movie is a little bit special. i asked a friend to go to see history boys but i didn't ask anybody to come with me for uncle vanya and the long day's journey into night.
in fact going to theatre/cinema on one's own, one may be able to meet other people. you'll know as i'll tell soon.
"in fact going to theatre/cinema on one's own, one may be able to meet other people..."??
Really? I think that wont be happened in HK...u know HK is such a boring place with boring ppl...and boring life. Yet, I will try to go on my own. Hee hee....
probably you may be correct. it's different here. people love to talk. i met a barrister when flying to london and met a businessman doing business all around the world when flying to london as well. etc etc.
I met new ppl on the plane..on the train...when i was in UK, definitely not in HK.
ppl in HK r defensive, even when u r not meeting him/her on special purpose, he/she would think the other way around. So, better not 2 start a conversation with sb next 2 u in HK. -_-`
btw, it's always be gd to meet new ppl in the trip. ^^
hey girl,
don't try to give me such advice, please. can't you remember before i left for europe i had lived there for almost 30yrs. haha.
just wanna refresh ur memory...my friend.
Forget HK not..
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