Monday, January 5, 2009

追 (三)

有人問︰「這是追求妳的攻略嗎?」
我(!!)︰「有可能嗎?那有女生會教男人追求自己的?」
其實, 我只是想告訴你們︰「女, 不是難追, 只是看你有無心, 也要看緣份。」

欲罷不能…是你還是我的感覺?

應做又可做的事情多的是, 只是看你自己願意不願意而已, 就讓我繼續寫我的追女攻略, DOs (Cont’d):
1. 若在馬路旁逛街時, 讓女生站到沒有車子的一邊, 保護你心愛的女生。
2. 什麼也可以幫她拿, 但不要幫她挽手袋, 堂堂男子漢挽女人手袋, 太不像樣了吧?而且, 女生不一定會開口叫你幫她拿東西的, 但你問她可否幫忙, 這也可以是個merit!
3. 男生對餐廳或是食物都應該有一點點的了解, 若完全沒有idea, 可到www.openrice.com/ 了解食評, 見面前先查查餐廳的人均消費資料, 什麼食物比較推介的, 也可以打電話問朋友。切忌一臉無知的說︰「我無所謂。」<-你有無所謂, who cares? 這不是隨和, 這是沒主見的表現!「懂得」吃喝玩樂, 也顯示你是個有情趣的男人。你不懂的話, 去找找資料囉!OK?
4. 女人說︰「無所謂, 你話事」= 你幫她選她想吃的東西, 你就給她幾個選擇吧!
5. 發掘新事物, 找多點話題, 令你變成一個有趣的男人。
6. 女人一般都很少會看產品說明書, 這是你讓她看到「你懂她不懂」的最佳時機。
7. 有時間, 可與朋友聊聊送女友的禮物listing, 可減少送上令她O了咀的禮物。
8. 關於工作的點滴, 也可跟她分享一點點, 這會讓大家感覺親近點。
9. 要有幽默感, 偶爾搞搞笑也是美事 (但…切忌太爛的gag呀, 唔該!)。
10. 身體要Keep, 沒人女生一開始會喜歡一個「孱仔強」, 這是一個生物學角度的分析來的(!!), 找個配偶喎?!
11. 日用品(包括化妝品/文具)當禮物是最無謂的, 你送一副啤牌或是一本筆記本給事業型女性, 那她應該多謝你麼?化妝品/護膚品, 你不認識就別買好了…若變了皮膚敏感, 就。唔。該。晒。囉…
12. 留意步速, 別讓女生死命的追你呢!OKOK, 知你腳長囉…!
13. 守時, 永遠有早無遲。

也差不多了吧?想到的話再寫啦…現在到了DONTs ︰
1. 別老是盯著她的身體, 我知道你對她的身材有「無限憧憬」。要知道「憧憬」是在腦海內的事情, 不用寫在臉上的。
2. 話題要遠離sex, 就算你是個性學專家/性經驗冠絕全港。在追求的時間, 先收收你的「知識」, 扮下豬先會高分一點囉!
3. 忌狂爆前女友的私事/狂踩前女友, 因為我們明白歷史是會重複的。
4. 忌計較, 要慳都是回家才計算啦…即場說︰「百佳貴過惠康2蚊喎!」<-這不是精打細算, 這叫「計婆仔數」…肉酸到死…

(再再待續)

9 comments:

f said...

有趣的課題,使我想起了兩性之間的hidden meanings :)

Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever : Is a women's way of saying "Go to Hell"

Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

The Sweet Piscean said...

f了解女人的程度,一如我所料.

沒有你的留言,我的blog都少了一分精彩.還以為你不喜歡這個我覺得很有趣的題目,謝謝你回應我~

你的新年是什麼?
我想人人都快樂~

f said...

相對地men's hidden meanings簡單得多

I'm hungry.= I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired. = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice tits!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = 50 and it doesn't look that much different!

Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping)
I like that one better. = Pick any dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay

謝謝抬舉,給妳一個有趣的game Gravity Pods
在試玩的過程想起了妳的追女攻略,哈哈...

The Sweet Piscean said...

again,你真有趣.

男人的確是這樣,不用遮遮掩掩.

好。可。愛。

沒有辦法不愛你,f.

The Sweet Piscean said...

即使...我們可能有10年以上的gap...

who cares...

志同道合,就是這種朋友

The Sweet Piscean said...

I got stuck at Level 11...

+___+ <-me

f said...

男人一生遇到問題無數,例如:

「我穿衣服好看還是甚麼也不穿好看?」,
「你愛我?」,
「你會和我結婚嗎?」,
「你是不是很討厭我?」,
「跟我一起是不是一種束縛?」,
「我長得漂亮嗎?」,
「我今天穿得好看嗎?」,
「我是不是對你不太好?」,
「我是不是不會體諒你?」,
「我替你生個孩子好嗎?」,
「我哭的時候是不是很醜?」,
「你今天晚上會不會回家?」,
「你甚麼時候才會改變?」,
「你愛她還是愛我?」,
「你愛我還是愛我的身體?」,
「如果我死了,你會傷心嗎?」,
「你有沒有掛念我?」,
「你的錢去了哪裡?」

男人闖蕩江湖,必須懂得一一回答這些問題,並且盡量說出令女人滿意的答案。


男人的問題比較少,他一生主要問女人兩個問題:






「我是不是很厲害?」
「你這件衣服是怎樣除的?」

The Sweet Piscean said...

女人需要男人的confirmation/ reassurance,跟男人問「我勁唔勁」如出一轍.

甜言蜜語係假、係肉麻,但邊個女人唔鍾意先?就好似男人都喜歡女人「放」一點說︰「嘢!你很厲害呀...我愛死你...」

The Sweet Piscean said...

闖。蕩。江。湖。

原來你係情場鬼見愁,浪子f.

嘻嘻~